lost that spark?

 

You thought only death would do you apart, now you realize that work, and family, and kids, and chores have done you apart.

You couldn't wait to be alone, now you feel alone even when you are together.

You know there is a problem but you don't know what to do about it . . . you have tried, it didn't work.

You have achieved a lot of what you worked hard for and strived for, but you are not happy.

 

What you need to know is:

- There are many people that are in the same situation as you, the question is are you going to be the one to quit and become a part of the growing statistics of people with failed relationships, or are you going to do the hard thing: Work to save your relationship. 
- While these problems sound like they don't have a solution (you have tried everything) I can assure you that if you are motivated, keep an open mind and an open heart I can help you find that spark. With your cooperation I can facilitate each you to get to a place where you look forward to the next time you lay your eyes on your partner

 

So how does this work?

Every individual, every couple and every relationship is unique. As such I meet with you, learn about your personal goals, give you feedback on what goals I see as valuable and I create a treatment plan.

I don't start treatment until I have a buy in from each of you, so I go over the plan with both of you to ensure that there is agreement, motivation, and a desire to work. We do regular check-in's and analysis together to ensure things are going as planned and make tweaks whenever needed. Once this is established the treatment runs smoothly and has a very high success rate. 

I use a customized combination of techniques and approaches according to what you both need. Some of my favorite techniques for forming loving connections are described by John Gottman from the Gottman Institute, from Sue Johnson's Emotionally Focused Therapy, and from Berne Brown's vulnerability research.

My success depends on your success as a couple. I will be guiding, facilitating and supporting both of you throughout therapy. I will be doing my best to make it less daunting and more doable.

During this therapy I don't take the side of the wife or the husband; my allegiance is with the marriage itself. I take the marriage's side. 

Reconnecting with your partner involves both people to be open to accepting responsibility for their actions, not to decide who to blame, but as a first step to overcoming the issues that might be blocking intimacy and connection.

As impossible as finding love again may seem to you right now, please know that it is very possible. I have watched it being done time and time again in front of me. 

There is such great work that has been done in the field of human connection and relationship recovery that it would be such a grave mistake to just sit in a relationship that you realize is sub-par and not take action to improve it.

When people are in loving and healthy relationships almost all aspects of their personal and professional life become better. Unfortunately the reverse is also true, don't delay happiness.

It is strange how we are a culture of striving to maintain and improve almost all aspects of our lives such as health and fitness, knowledge and education, career and salary, the social ladder, the things we own or want to own, but when it comes to our most intimate relationships we don't do much at all but coast ride it as it comes. 

As a matter of fact a good relationship that brings you joy, satisfaction and fulfillment cannot be maintained for any reasonable period of time without effort.

My advice would be not to subscribe to the belief that 'things will eventually work themselves out'. Like all problems, if relationship problems are not tended to correctly and in a timely manner they can get out of hand. 

Please remember counseling is cheaper than a divorce, emotionally and financially. Take action before its too late.

If you have more question, check out my FAQ's or call me at (973) 755-2306 to ask me your question first hand.